Hi Gerry, I am missing you like crazy. I wish with all my heart, body and soul that you were here beside me. I sometimes find it hard to breath, and I start to panic and have hot sweats because you are not here.
I have been watching some more family videos. It is so good to see you again looking young, healthy and so handsome. It is good to hear your voice again and hear your jokes. You were always so happy and the life and soul of any occasion. Seeing you play with Wipeout, and then Shred, singing and doing your drum solos is always a joy, to remember who you truly were, and how happy and talented you were. The family band made us all so close and we all had so much fun. The boys owe you so much for everything you did for us all.
I have also written a bit more of your life story. It is very hard to do, as it is so emotional and quite exhausting knowing I will never see you again in this life. I live in the hopes that we will be re-united when I pass over to your world.
The weather is lousy at the moment. It has gone colder again, and very wet and rainy. Di has lots of days when she does not want to go out for a walk. I don't push her, as she is getting older now and more arthritic. She often sits looking at your photo cushion, and then at your ashes. She also watches the living room door, or waits behind the front door still hoping that you will walk in.
In two days time it will be 40 years since we moved into our home. It does not seem that long, but I could never think of living anywhere else. You have build and created such a wonderful, peaceful and stylish home that makes me feel closer to you. Everywhere you look there is your skillful DIY, and home improvements. I can see all the love, blood, sweat and tears you put into our home. The garden is also looking good. I have tried my best to honor you with the planting and upkeep. I hope you like it.
On Friday I am going away with both Darren and Jamie's families to Treco Bay in Wales. It is a Parkdean caravan holiday. The grandchildren love these holidays together, and the kids show in the evenings. I hope the weather picks up for it and that i gets a bit warmer.
I don't have much news as I have such a boring and lonely life these days. A lots of friends and some family have long deserted me, and without you I have become a bit of a recluse and very sad, lost and lonely. I have aged a lot and am truly unhappy without you. I still take your ashes to bed with me every night, and I always take you with me when away from home. You will also be coming on holiday with us.
I have seen a few butterflies already this year and look forward to seeing your butterfly very soon.
Until we meet again please always remember, I always have, and always will love you forever and always. You were my husband, lover, soul mate and best friend and I will treasure our love until my dying day.
All my love forever and always MaggieXxX