Hi Gerry,
It’s the 29th April 2020. I am missing you and love you so very much.
I have been a prisoner at home now for 46 days due to the country lockdown. There is no end in sight for this situation, and the death toll is still enormous each day. We have now lost about 30,000 people in the UK. Around the world is now nearly 250,000 and rising. It is a very sad and lonely time, as I cannot go out except to take Di for a walk. Even then she has to stay on her lead, and during hot days she refuses to go. I guess as she is nearly 12, old age is creeping up on her and she struggles. I noticed that she pants heavily if we do go out in the heat. However, she loves being in the garden as much as possible.
The pigeons are in the garden and taunting her whilst building their nests in the wisteria. She also still chases the squirrels but is unable to get close as the fence stops her. She seems to be very aware that something is wrong and mopes about quite a lot. I managed to cheer her up yesterday by finding a teddy bear that belonged to Peg. She loves it and takes it everywhere with her. I think it is giving her some comfort. She can’t understand why we don’t see anyone or go and meet Austyn and Violet from school, she also loves it when they have sleep overs but does get a bit jealous and demands lots more attention.
Darren and Jamie are still doing my food shopping for me and they phone often, and we also have what’s app three-way video chats. Its lovely to see all our grandchildren having fun. I expect that when I finally get a chance to see them, they will have grown up a lot.
I am desperate for your company and to be with you again. I have aged, a lot and my face is very wrinkled now especially around the mouth, which is my own fault for smoking. I am still using the fake cigarette and have been for over 6 years now.
I am trying to decant the cupboards, drawers and wardrobes. It is an ideal opportunity to do so, but I am struggling to throw things away. I really need you to be here to do a ruthless culling of clutter. I still won’t be throwing anything of your away. Every item is so precious to me now.
I still talk to you every morning and at night before I go to bed. I have started talking to you more in bed now whilst I sleep with your ashes. It gives me more opportunity to talk for longer. I do hope you are aware of how much I love you, and appreciate all that you did for me, and all the love, time, life and happiness we shared.
I wish I could put the clock back and have you home again. My sexy husband, soul mate, best friend and lover. And BOY was a husband and lover you always were. Now I just long for the day we are reunited together forever.
I hope all is well with you and that you are having the most amazing new life. I hope you are happy, restored to full health and vitality, loved, full of joy and contentment and freedom. Freedom, to go where you like, have what you like, do what you like, be who you like and be with who you like. I hope you are as wonderful as you always were. Talented, artistic, creative, inventive, musical. So very STRONG, BRAVE, CORAGEOUS and NOBLE. Loving, loyal, dedicated, devoted, kind, thoughtful, happy, generous, full of surprises. Wise, intelligent, supportive, encouraging, forgiving, easy going, gentle and my husband and lover. How lucky was I to be married to you? Thank you so much for marrying me and making me so very happy, and for all the wonderful things you did for me. And for our two fabulous sons, who you gave a magical life. Magical Christmases, birthday, school holidays, and family holiday all over the world. Especially Disney World in Florida TWICE. You made them into the men they are today, strong, loving, self-supporting sons, husbands, fathers, teachers, friends, musicians, artist, entertainers and performers. Chips of the old block. You homed their skills, talents, and personalities, to perfection as you did your own. You have so much to be proud of. They are so very proud of you and you will always be their HERO. They both love and miss you so very much and wish with all their hearts that you were still here. They also often talk to you for help and advice which you always give them. They are so grateful to you for all your help still. It proves that you are always watching over us.
You are missed by your family, friends, band fans, drummers, students, colleagues and many more people.
Until we meet again please always remember, that I always have and always will love you forever and always.
I hope to see you in y dreams again soon ,and to see your wonderful butterfly that sits on the bar-b-q for hours whilst we talk to each other.
All my love forever and always,
Maggie XxX