Hi Gerry, I am missing you like crazy. I really don’t know what to do with myself at times. I am unsettled and unhappy without you. I miss your smiling face, your laughing eyes and mischief. I wish with all my heart, body and soul that you were here beside me. I need you and love you. I wish I could put the clock back about 20 years and re do a lot of things correctly. I am so very sorry for hurting you and being so cruel to you. I know there was no excuse for my behaviour. I wish we could go back and make sure you had been checked out properly early enough to have caught the cancer at its early stages. You would not have suffered so much, and I am sure you would be here today.
The pain of my regrets haunts me, and as I cannot now do anything about it is very hard to bear. You suffered so very much and fought so very hard to beat the dreadful disease. You were brave, courageous, strong, determined and relentless in your fight. I cannot begin to imagine the fear, pain and terror you must have had to bear.
Losing you had left such a hole in my heart and my life which cannot ever be filled. I look for signs of you everywhere and try very hard to try and connect with you spiritually. I do see you in my dreams more often now, which is wonderful. Your butterfly still comes most days but does not stay anywhere as long as it used to. I try to understand why, but it is still wonderful to see it. I still go and talk to you and try to update you with information.
It is the school summer holidays now. All our grandchildren are growing up very fast now and little Genevieve will be starting pre-school in September.
Darren and Kelly’s orangery is now built. They are starting to fit the new kitchen cupboards and appliances. It is going to be a lot of work, but I am sure it will be worth it. Austyn and Violet are coming over on Saturday along with Satch. They will stay here for the weekend so that the kitchen can be fitted. I will take them to the fair in Maunsell way probably on Saturday afternoon. I will also take them on Sunday afternoon as the anatronic dinosaurs will be there for a special one of occasion.
Di is ok, but a bit down and lethargic at the moment. I think she is finding the heat a bit too much for her. She very often will not go out for a walk and when she does, she is very slow. I had a delivery today of some special food for her which is made up especially for her age size and condition. She was not keen at first, but did manage to eat some. She has been off her dry food so much and I was getting worried about her. I know you would approve of spending a bit extra on her food now.
I hope all is well with you, and that there is lots for you to do for pleasure and enjoyment.
I am thinking of you constantly and try to keep our lovely garden packed with flowers in your honour.
Please remember that I always have and always will love you.
All my love forever and always,
Maggie XxX