Hi Gerry, well its December again and Xmas is rapidly approaching. I am finding it very difficult again without you. It all seems so futile without you. I have done most of the present buying again mainly on line as I cannot face going around the festive shops. I do not know what to get you this year. It might have to be some memorial additions to your memory tree. I wish to God that you were still here. I am sat by the fire wishing you were here with me. We should be putting up our decorations and our lovely Xmas tree. I Cannot face having them around me anymore. It is far to painful a reminder of our wonderful Xmases together. Our wonderful lovemaking under the Xmas tree and by the fireside. I hope wherever you are you are happy and well. It is incredible that you have been visiting me as a butterfly right up until the last few days. It is so bitterly cold for you. You are so strong and brave as you always were. I appreciate your visits so much and it is so comforting to know that you still want to come home to me. I hope you are able to see Darren and Jamie as well and our 5 wonderful grandchildren. Di is still doing well. A bit stiff with her bad leg but otherwise well. Hoping to see you in my dreams tonight. Until we are together again. Remember that i love and miss you and i always will. There will never be another man in my life. You were the man of my dreams and always will be. All my love forever and always, Maggie XxX