Hi Gerry, it was the fourth anniversary of your funeral today. I sat down at 1.30 with your ashes and photo cushion and played the funeral tape. I cried my eyes out. It is so hard without you. Losing you was the hardest experience of my life and I have to live without you now forever. I wish with all my heart and soul that you were still here. It was so cruel and unnecessary for you to have suffered such an evil disease. You were so strong and brave and the the loveliest man I have ever met, and being your wife was a privilege and an honour. I wish I could put the clock back and change the course of events. You were so full of life, fun and laughter. I miss you so much. Life is so lonely now and unfulfilled. I miss our life together, our magical romantic holidays, the family band our wonderful exciting sex life and everything else we shared. I try to think of new ways of honouring you. I talk to you everyday and still take your ashes to bed with me so that we are still together in some form.
I still expect to see you when I wake up in the morning. It still feels strange when I go into the studio. I always expect to see you sitting at the drums and playing to your hearts content.
I hope you are in a wonderful place now and are having a wonderful and fulfilling new life. I hope you are loved and have lots of family, friends and lovers. I hope you are able to jam with great musicians and can fulfil all your heart desires. I truly hope you are happy and free, and can look down on us and guide us still. I am waiting for your butterfly to return, I hope it comes soon.
All my love forever and always Maggie XxX