Hi Gerry, I am missing you so very much. I ache for your touch, and yearn for you to be here. It is becoming unbearable that you are no longer here with me. Darren set up the video player in the back bedroom to your Panasonic tv. I have started watching our family videos. I need to see you and feel close to you. It is very moving, and heartbreaking watching them. I have watched Snowdon, your 40th birthday party. That was a shock as there were 8 family member there who are no longer with us. Darren did his magic show and you and the boys sang and played several numbers. A family Christmas, when the boys got their Marshall amps, and a family party in our kitchen, when Sarah and Lizzie were singing along to you and the boys playing After that there was the gig that you and the boys did for Ivan Ladd's birthday party. The video ended on you singing I just called to say I love you., I always loved to hear you sing that. I was emotionally exhausted after watching that. The next video was our holiday in Lazoroti. This was really good and I felt that I was back there. Watching you swimming and playing in the pool with the boys, our family jokes and your gig with the boys in the Irish bar. You looked so fit and handsome. I just wanted to kiss you and take you to bed and make mad passionate love. Then there was your first family gig as Wipeout in Chiseldon British Legion club, and then your second gig. Then there was also the Summer fete at the Junior school when Wipeout performed, Darren did his magic show, and you did you glass engraving. O happy days. It was interesting to see how we had all changed over the years and also how our home had changed. Now every now and again I just break down and sob my hear out. We were so very happy and we had a good family life. I need reminding of just how happy we were and how wonderful you were. I wish I could put the clock back and change history. You deserve to be here now with us, and have the luxurious retirement you so richly deserved. I cannot put into words just how much I want you, or how much you meant to me, as it is immeasurable. I cant stop thinking about you and I feel like I am going mad, and the pain is immense. Life is so hollow and empty without you. I miss your smiling face and your jokes and fun personality. I hope we can still connect somehow and you will get to know how much I love you. There are many more videos to watch and I will gradually work through them all. The boys and the grandchildren also want to watch them, the grand kids will get to know just what a wonderful man you were. It will also help me in writing your story, as I am writing a book about you and our life together.
I hope all is well with you and that you are free to do whatever pleases you. I hope you have lots of friends, lovers, drummers, musicians, artist and other like minded spirits to be with. I also hope you have met your parents, my parents, Diane, Peg, Uncle Harry, Peggy and Bart, Buddy Rich and any others you desire. I hope you are having ball in heaven, playing music and having fun.
Looking forward to meeting you again. Di is doing well, but still missing her pack leader and master. She loves you and misses you so much.
Until we meet again please remember, I always have, and always will love you forever and always.
All my love forever and always, Maggie XxX.