Happy New Year Darling. I am missing you so very much. I saw the new year in at home with Di. It was a very boring uneventful evening. The telly was rubbish as usual. I sat with my memories and was very sad. I remembered lots of previous new years eves when we were together. The numerous gigs you played every year. When the boys were young I used to bring them to your gig at midnight, so that we could all wish each other a happy new year and have a new years kiss. The gigs with Wipeout and then Shred. They were truly happy days. Playing a the Harrow at Barry's , the club in Old Town when that down syndrome girl wanted to kiss Jamie. The club in Purton when you were full of jokes and fun. You always loved New Years Eve and were always full of fun, jokes and laughter. You brought such joy to so many people. The parties we had on New Years Day. All I have left now are my memories which are priceless yet painful.
Darren played at a club in Old Town last night, and Jamie stayed home with his family. He got his girls up at 11.30 to watch the fireworks on tv, then he had some fireworks in his garden.
Di was very frightened of the fireworks last night, and it took a while to settle her down again. She was never frightened of them when you were here. She is frightened on walks now. If she sees other people or dogs in her path she stopped, freezes, and then tries to run back home. I have to put her back on her lead and then she walks normally with me. She has lost a lot of her confidence without you. I must say that I have too. I hate living without you. It was something that I never envisage ever having to do.
I don't know what this year will bring but, all I know for certain is that you will not be here. I am dreading this winter as it is so lonely, and unfulfilling without you. We should be having the time of our lives now. Instead you are gone and have missed the luxurious lifestyle we had set out to have. I don't want luxuries anymore, they are pointless without you to share them with.
I hope all is well with you. I hope you had a great party last night. There are lots of famous , talented musicians where you are and I hope you all had an amazing party. I hope that you have been able to meet your parents, my parents, Diane, Peg, Uncle Harry, Buddy Rich and many more. I hope you are able to look down on the family and I, to see how we are doing. I hope to see your butterfly in the summer. If is at all possible can we meet again in my dreams. I would love to spent time with you again and perhaps we could make love. I find it very hard to cope without you and our amazing sex life.
I hope it is not too long before we are re-united and that you will still want me when I come.
Until we meet again, remember, I always have and always will love you.
Love forever and always, Maggie XxX