Hi Gerry,
I love and miss you so very much. So sorry I have not written for a while. I have been busy. I went on holiday to West Bay in Dorset with Darren and his family. We stayed in a caravan on a Park Dean holiday site. It was lovely to get away for awhile. The weather was not bad for us. We had the Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday was sunny and warm. We went to Weymouth to the Sea Life Centre. for the day on the Tuesday. On Wednesday we spent the morning on the beach and the afternoon in the swimming pool. On the Thursday the weather was raining most of the day, so we sent swimming in the pool again, spent some time in the arcades and went for a walk around the harbour and had fish and chips. By the time we actually got served with the take away fish and chips it was getting cold so we went back to the caravan to eat them. Then we had a few bevvies and few whiskies and played some family games. On the Friday we went swimming, played in the arcades and then went to Sandwell and had a picnic on the beach . Then we went crab fishing before heading home. It was a lovely family holiday and it was so nice to be able to go out and about again, after being stuck at home alone for nearly 18 months.
Di stayed with Carol and Rick. I was really worried about her as her legs are so very bad with arthritis now. She had to sleep downstairs as she was unable to manage their stairs. She gave us a fright though. On the Wednesday night around 1.45epm Carol phoned me on my mobile to say that Di had collapsed in the garden after a walk and could not get up. She was panicking and Rick was already in bed. She would not get him up to help her. Eventually when Carol offered her a packet of crisps she got up and walked indoors. I WAS FRANTIC AND WANTED TO GET HOME FOR HER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I RANG JAMIE TO SEE IF HE COULD PICK HER UP AND BRING HER HOME SO THAT SHE WOULD BE THER WHEN I GOT HOME. BUT HE WAS GOING TO BE AWAY THE NEXT MORNING AT 6AM FOR A FEW DAYS.I could not sleep that night for worrying about her. Darren had offered to run me home but id did not want him to waste the last day of his holiday running me about. Fortunately, when I rang in the morning all was well. Rick did not even know anything had happened. I picked her up as soon as I got home. The she would not get out of the car. I had to ring Darren to help me get her out again. She is in a bad way. I dare not take her for a walk now as her legs are so bad and I am afraid of her legs giving out again. I took her to the vet yesterday and she has lost a lot of weigh she is down to 25.9kgs. I was told that her arthritis is now chronic. She is costing me a fortune on vet fees and mediation at the moment, but I am sure you would want me to take the very best care of her. I do hope that you can help her, and ease her pain, so that she can remain with me for a while longer .
I had Austyn and Violet last weekend. They came on the Saturday until Tuesday afternoon. I wanted to give then a mini holiday and tried to think of how you would have amused them. I took them to the Ridgeway swimming pool and they loved it. I even managed to swim a width 4 times. That is the most swimming I have achieved since our last visit to the Maldives . Then we spent an hour playing badminton. They had never played it before and they really loved it. On the Sunday we went to Bowood house for the Wiltshire country games and fair. They were not very impressed with that. We managed to watch most of the displays , but the stalls were all clothes and things for dogs. We eventually found a stall selling toys. They homed in to that and fell in love with a couple of cheap toys. Then we found a shooting range. They both and a go at that. Violet cold not managed the gun as it was so big and heavy. Austyn was brilliant. he even managed to clip the edge of the bulls eye twice. Then on the way home he announces that he has lost his watch He was upset and if he had told me earlier I wold have gone back to look for it, but we were nearly home. I told Kelly as soon as we got home but she did not mind and ordered him another one.
On the Monday they just wanted to stay home, watch telly and Disney films and play games. We did have a lot of fun together. I wish with all my heart, body and soul that you were still here to enjoy them. Then on the Tuesday we just watched film again and played some more kids board games.
I am really bored and fed up without you. I spent about an hour today looking at you Facebook page. It was wonderful to see you, watch your videos of you playing in the band and your drum solos. I looked at all the photos and read all your messages. Especially the ones about when you were ill. It made me feel so close to you.
Thank you for still coming back to me as your butterfly. I do not see you often, but when I do it's wonderful. I love to sit and talk to you in my head.( I can't talk out load as the neighbours wold think I have gone mad). I love to watch you and see you fly over my head.
I spent some time in the garden again today trying to tidy it up. I felt quite ashamed when I saw the pictures you took of the garden after we had done our project of putting in the second pond and putting in the shed and gravel. It looked wonderful and then I looked out the window and saw how I had let it go. I have tried to keep it up together, but the gravel area is awash with forget me knots and the little yellow flowers. I keep pulling them out but the just come back with a vengeance. Still in the autumn they will all disappear again.
I almost forgot to tell you that Sienna came to spend a night with me. I was so pleased to see her. She had waited over a year to come because of Covid, and nobody being allowed to meet. It was great fun. Jamie came and stayed with her. I was glad of that because I would have been very nervous of her allergies and what i could give her to eat. She loved watching the family videos. She loved watching Jamie and Darren performing when they were kids. Jamie in Kentwood and Darren doing his magic. Then the family band. She also watched the Disney videos. She also loved seeing you and laughing at your jokes and antics. We did have a great time. She brought me a face mask and insisted that I use it while she was here. It was rather nice and it did make me look better. She is tying to encourage me to look after myself as I have gone down hill since you left. I have lost interest in what I look like as you are not here. In fact I have lost interest in living. My face is so wrinkled and I look so old now. But we never thought we would see the day when Jamie's kids would come to sleep over. Isabelle and Sienna have both slept over. Genevieve is keen to come next.
I don't have much more to say at the moment, so I will love you and leave you.
Until we meet again, please always remember that I always have and always will, love you forever and always. You are still the man of my dreams, the love of my life, my knight in shining armour, my rock, my god, my love god, my sex god, my master, my hero, my husband, my best friend, my soul mate, my lover and always will be.
All my love forever and always,
Maggie XxX